Sense and Senseibility

Monday, October 16, 2006

Blood in the rearview mirror

Ok, ok ok. The last post was a cop-out, I'll admit it. I just pasted an old file that happened to be on my computer. I promise though new stuff is coming, and it's quite excellent. Before I break off an another massive, I need to take wednesday off to finish this story entry, I will leave you with a small anecdote about my drive to work today.

The day started at about 2 when I woke up on El Charro's couch, for reasons that will be explained in one or two entries, and walked down the Serene Path of Serenity, to the Mysterious Park of Mystery, eventually wandering back into my apartment. I quickly showered, got dressed, ate some left over patato salad, and got in my car to go to work.

When I leave my apartment for the spectacularly annoying main drag to the office, Route 2, I have to enter the flow of traffic in the wrong direction, which means everyday I have to bust a U-ey at the same spot. This spot is about 30 to 35 feet long, paralell to the highway, and maybe a little over a carlength wide. As I approach U-town, there is already one car waiting to make the turn, I pull up next to it. Immediately following me, an old man in a tiny car pulls up trying to turn in the opposite direction, blocking my view and the flow of traffic, then a woman in a huge mini-van pulls up next to the old guy looking to turn in the same direction. Then another huge van pulls up next to me going in the same direction I'm going in. What we have now is this little u-turn playground is a five vehicle mexican standoff, that ensured that absolutely nobody had a clear view of the two land highway they are trying to pull into. This is obviously the fault of women and old people, who upon seeing cars already waiting should have opted to wait another 30 god damn seconds, and turned around at the next traffic light. The day is not beginning well, after 3 to 5 minutes of sitting there, I went, it didn't seem like anyone was coming, the road felt clear.

Anyway, I got going, and simmered down a bit, then as the highway moves into one lane I look at the car behind me. Obviously it's a police car, it's a white sedan, with big red lights on the top, and the occupants look thirsty to nail some gaijin ass. Of course we're driving on the street that everyone speeds on, even grandma, and naturally as I slow down, the cop speeds up. The cop gets right on my ass, and as I look back I notice that there is a word, an English word, written on the hood; BLOODin big red capital shiny f*$k off letters. I am officially terrified. What the hell is this, what kind of police force writes blood is huge god damn letters on the hood of their car? Is it some kind of Enrish mistake, did they mean to write...ummm...brood, or blued, or brewed? What is the deal here, are they out for blood? Did an entire Koban (police station) have their minds poisoned by Chuck Bronson movies, we're they goth police on some kind of vampire trip? I have not been this LIT (lost in translation) in quite a while. The car is beating down on me, I'm imagining that I'm seeing fangs on the uniformed men in the car, and is that radiator grill tinted red? I can't be sure.

Finally, the road turns back into two lanes, and I get my ass over to the slow lane in a heartbeat. Which is as long as it took to read the English phrase on the back of the car as it sped away. Blood Transportation Vehicle was written neatly across the back panelling, along with a picture of a green hospital cross on a blue background.

Just one of those weird moments that stick with you for a while.